Just some stuff

I'm reading this book called Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus. Honestly... it's pretty good, but it's also one of those books I almost hate to read. I am discovering more and more that I'm pretty screwed up. I feel like God has done such an amazing work in my life over the past few years, but then I read a chapter in this book and I'm like dang... I've got a long way to go. I am realizing how much Love plays a huge part in my life. I don't mean a romantic relationship in my life right now... I mean a deep acceptance and purpose. I feel I look for it all the time... around each corner and it is a very allusive find. And then I have someone make a comment like was made today. It was like someone punching me in the chest. It seemed to be so well placed and uncalled for. painful really. I don't remember the last time someone actually took a shot like this. Again... a reminder I'm screwed up. I can already feel this blog not being the most up lifting... hearty writing ever. I'm sorry if you have come here for a pick me up :) I'm kidding mostly. We just started the first part of our new series for the fall called "DeLIVErance". I am very happy with where we are going with this particular 3 weeker... I think it really hits a lot of buttons that are very close to home. I pray God uses it to really spark some rescue in the lives of student who desperately need a touch from Jesus Christ. I am particularly "haunted" by a passage from Romans 6:19 I believe. It says we are slaves to whomever we obey. Who do I obey most of the time? I fear most of the time I am obeying my self. I mean even the simple slogan from Sprite... "Obey your thirst"? We would be slaves to our thirst. Stupid?? Maybe... but a lot of us are slaves to more ridiculous things. X-box, ESPN, the Mall, friends, sexuality, cheeseburgers, sleep and even more. This idea of slavery leaves a very bad taste in my mouth... good thing I think.

I also had one of the most heartbreaking conversations I have ever been a part of today at the church. One of our former students just had a tragedy hit their family. We met with this person and afterward my heart was just so sad for them. I cried for them. I think it seemed to be all I could do. I hate that. I would much rather help fix something. So painful as well. Such a wake up call to how I am using the days God has given me to live. I am thankful for this day that was given to me. I'm gonna lay down to bed and prepare for the next one. Meaning tomorrow.

I'm out.